Five Things We Have Actually Learned From the Iowa Democratic Caucus

1) Pigs make very poor early voters.
Everyone thinks of corn and cows when they think of Iowa, but Iowa is actually the pig capital of America with almost three times as many hogs as the next most-populous pig raising state, North Carolina. Did you know that Iowans have a joke? Just the one. “If pigs could grow corn, there’d be no people in Iowa.”

2) Television journalists are reporting developing feelings…for their teleprompters.
An anonymous source told our reporter that sometimes, all that time alone in room with only the screen…